Do you find yourself constantly having to discipline your children? If so, you are not alone. My kids are really respectful and well mannered but they argue none stop! I also find that I have to repeat myself over and over again way too often.
Stop arguing, I repeated once. In unison they both said “okay”. I thought I said to stop arguing, I exclaimed, this time with a little more indignation in my voice. “Okay”, they said, in an attempt to convince me that this time would be different. By the third stop arguing, I am nearly loosing my mind! To be honest, my first instinct is to go pop them for not listening. When they were younger a little pop to the hand would do the trick.
But who am I kidding, Niah and KJ aren’t toddlers any more!
A little slap on the hand will cause them to do nothing more than laugh at me. The older they get the more I find myself tweaking my parenting regimen. I’m constantly brainstorming innovative ways to get the same end result in a way that exudes positive reinforcement.
When I find myself venting about how much these two argue and how I have to keep repeating myself before they will listen, I get the “ole he’s just being a boy” or the “I used to argue with my siblings too, they’ll out grow it.” I didn’t have this problem growing up. My siblings are nine and ten years older than me. As a result, I started trying different techniques to see what they dreaded the most and flipped that in my favor as punishment.
The five ways I combat their negative behavior actually benefits us both. Maybe they will benefit you too!
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6 Effective Ways To Discipline Your Kids That Will Benefit You Both
Make Them Exercise
It’s recommended that children have 60 minutes or more of physical activity a day. So, why not help them accomplish this goal when they are acting out! My children don’t like being out of breath or working up a sweat so this is the perfect punishment for their negative behavior. When they are acting out I make them exercise. Sometimes they have to give me ten laps up and down the steps, sometimes its a hundred jumping jacks or sometimes its twenty burpees. It just depends on the situation. I bet they sit their tired behinds down after I tire them out!
The benefit to them is that I am promoting health and fitness. The benefit to me is that I am possibly saving myself a trip to the doctor because i’m helping them get fit and stay healthy.
Make Them Clean
What kid you know likes to clean? Mine are thrilled to help out when it’s quick and easy but when its not something they enjoy they put up a fuss. OMG, this is all of a sudden the perfect punishment! When they are acting out sometimes I make them clean. Depending on what needs to be done they may have to wipe down the windowsill’s, sweep the floor, organize the pantry or wash dishes. Again, it just depends on the situation.
The benefit to them is that they are learning how to properly domesticate and they are creating a clean environment for which they live in. The benefit to me is that I don’t have to do it myself! Lol
Make Them Do School Work
In my opinion, there is never a bad time to learn! I print age appropriate worksheets offline or make up my own and keep them handy for when they are acting out. Although they are beyond the write your name a hundred times stage, there is still school work that to them may seem like more of a chore. Once I find their sore spot, I use it to my advantage. When they are acting out I have them go do school work. They have to either complete one of the worksheets I keep handy or I create a writing prompt to help them practice their writing skills.
The benefit to them is that they are increasing their knowledge, which in turn can improve their grades. The benefit to me is that I’ll have some A+ students on my hands, after all, education starts at home, right!?!
Make Them Pause
This is similar to a time out. When they are acting out they have to just pause. Stop right where you are and don’t move! I designate a certain duration of time for them to pause. It can be 10 minutes or 30 minutes, it all depends. If they are on the floor they will need to pause right there. If they are on the steps they will need to pause right there. If they have their hand in the cookie jar they will have to pause right there. I sometimes just make them take a pause by sending them to their rooms for quiet time.
The benefit to them, all kids need rest. The benefit to me is that silence is golden! Ahhhh….
Make Them Read
Reading is fundamental! Although my kids love to read, I still use it as a form of discipline. I’ll make them go read quietly for 15 – 20 minutes. This may not seem like much of a chore but it’s a moment of peace that will break up the chaos and help them in the process.
The benefit to them is that they are most likely meeting reading requirements for school, doing something they love and learning. The benefit to me is that its a moment of peace and that I am helping them strengthen their skills.
Stop What You’re Doing And Spend One-On-One Time With Them
Afterall, when your child is acting out it’s their way of saying “I want attention”. So why not give it to them! Stop whatever you are doing and give them the attention they are seeking.
Go for a walk, watch a movie, play a game, or cook together. It’s literally hundreds of ways that you can give your child the attention they are seeking. Social media will still be there, your reality show will still be there, and the household chores will still be there. Just like us, kids get bored too! Help them beat boredom and stay out of trouble.
The benefit for all of us is that we get to bond, spend quality time together and make more memories!
How do you discipline your children?
What are you waiting for!?! GO OWN YOUR FANCY!!!
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These are so great! I love using creative ways to discipline. My son is 2 so for now using a distraction (reading, snacktime, a craft together, etc) typically works when he’s throwing a fit or getting into something he shouldn’t. Or as you listed I will stop what I’m doing and sit to play with him!
I love these ideas. Such valuable info that can really pay off!! Can’t wait to try them.
Thank you! Best wishes!
These are interesting ideas, but I’m curious as to the long-term impact. Shouldn’t you want your kids to enjoy reading and exercising? To make it a “punishment” turns it into a negative rather than a positive thing.
Interesting comment, in fact they already love to read! To me it’s more of a way to break up the chaos by giving them things to do that are beneficial to their education and health. I mentioned that requiring them to read is not a chore but a way to re-center them and bring about peace. The great thing about parenting is that we are able to take our mistakes and learn from them. There is no perfect parent so if I fail, I’ll dust my self off and we’ll try again!
Your kids are beautiful. Mine used to argue, how I should say the little one used to bother the older (too many years apart). It is amazing to see how they are getting along. The little one adores the older one, and the older is so in love of the younger one.
Thank you so much! That is awesome! Mine are two and a half years apart, one girl and one boy. Now, no one else can mess with the other but they can aggravate each other like no tomorrow. I hope they will out grow it!
Cleaning, exercising and reading are the most used in our house! We have 4 kiddos and at times they can get a little roudy, heck even one by themselves can get overwhelming. Exercising is my favorite one to do because they are actually getting healthy! They sleep better at night, their brains and bodies are more alert after.. it’s a win win!
Those are my thoughts exactly! This is definitely my rationale behind it.
My favorite is the stop what WE are doing and have one on one time. It can certainly be inconvenient but sometimes it’s just what our kids need.
Great insight!
I like these ideas especially the reading and the cleaning.
Thank you!
OOOOO! These are good! My two girls argue about the sky being blue and they are about 3 years apart. I am going to use all of these. Thanks for this great post.
You are very welcome! They work.
I love the idea of being proactive and keeping children occupied/busy. I only have toddler now but I try to use this with them too. A busy toddler is a happy toddler 🙂
This is so true. Idle time can cause tons of chaos!
We have been going through some tough stages as the kids get older. Sometimes I just need to get something done and they argue or keep interrupting me on the phone, and I get so frustrated. These are great tips, I’m definitely giving them a try.
Thank you! I hop ethey work for your family too!
Great tips here. I tell my kids go and read too when they’re being unruly. Not as a punishment as such, but just to get them to calm down!
Right, its just a way to break up the chaos while still having them do something productive.
Old school parenting wisdom..I love it! It’s so important to be a truly engaged parent.
Thank you! Engaging is definitely important.
I love these! “make them clean” has to be my favorite on this list.
Thank you! It works.
Great idea to redirect the behaviors into something more productive, not necessarily as a punishment.
My thoughts exactly!
Great post Brandi. Love the excerrsize one. Every little helps eh? Ha. Cant wait for them to act up now lol. X
Lol, it also may be more effective when you stop and exercise with them.Lead by example!
I LOVE these ideas! Especially the exercise and cleaning–honestly these two things are the biggest for getting my kids to get out of ‘brat-mode’ most of the time!
So true!