As a mom, just like you, I’ve watched my daughter grow year after year. Knowing that she would eventually start her cycle and officially become a young lady. Seriously, are we ever ready!?
I don’t know about you but I wasn’t. I wasn’t ready for the talk. I wasn’t ready for buying double the feminine supplies. I wasn’t ready for the questions. I just wasn’t ready!
As if mother nature told me screw you Mom, you better get ready!! Niah wakes up yesterday morning grumpy, continuing to confirm the morning person she is not! Next thing I know, I hear her yelling “Mom, I think you need to come here”! Lord knows, I didn’t want to move from my comfy spot so immediately my irritation set in.
As if I couldn’t move any slower, I headed to the bathroom to see what the urgentness was. It was then that I felt like someone had slapped me in the face. It was then that I was forced to deal with the reality that my 10-year-old had started her menstrual cycle!
Imagine my surprise, imagine my heart break! I just want my baby girl back….
But then the inevitable happened, my heart softened! My first born, my only daughter, my baby girl has entered this new phase in her life. As a mom, my duty is to make sure she succeeds, has the best resources, and the best memories to share with her daughter. In my post 10 Little Ways to Be A Better Mom I talk more about helping our children be their best self.
I too started my cycle at the young age of ten. I had already prepped her on what to look for, how to recognize the signs and symptoms and what to do if I wasn’t present.
I never liked “the talk” with my mom. They always felt so awkward and uncomfortable. Keeping this in mind, I hugged my baby girl…after washing our hands of course!
I smiled, I wanted her to know that starting her menstrual cycle was okay, and nothing to be ashamed of.
I guided her, I wanted her to learn how to navigate the process herself.
I asked her if she had any questions, and then I answered them.
I talked to her, I explained what to expect, why it happens, what to do in the future.
I followed up with her, throughout the day I checked on her to see how she was feeling and if she needed me.
Finally, we talked about our future outlook on finding the right products for her and I wanted her to know most importantly that I am here for her and always will be.
If your daughter is nearing the menstrual cycle phase it is never too early to create a plan of action for when the time comes.
Here are some tips on how you can help support your daughter throughout the process…..
Pre-Menstrual Cycle:
- Prepare her before her menstrual cycle officially comes. It would be nothing worst then for her to not know whats happening and freak out if you are not around.
- Create an emergency kit for her to keep handy in the event she does start and is not at home. Purchasing a cute little bag to keep all her feminine supplies in will help her feel prepared.
- Make yourself available to answer any questions she has. Feeling like you don’t have anyone to talk to about the changes that are to come can be scary and daunting.
- Educate her. It’s best that she hears what this all means from you rather then friends or outside sources.
Post Menstrual Cycle:
- Gather the best resources for her. I repeat, for her, not you! Purchase some different brands and styles of sanitary napkins to see what she is most comfortable with. Purchase her a calendar to use to keep track of her cycle with. Purchase her a cute little bag to discreetly house her items in so that when she goes to the restroom she can take that bag instead of a loose napkin or a heavy book bag. Don’t forget maybe some soothing tea and/or age appropriate pain meds for the days her stomach may cramp.
- Repeat! Educate her on how to keep from having accidents, how to stay smelling fresh, where to dispose of her feminine products properly and how to track her cycle.
- Inform her teacher. They need to be aware of her need to possibly frequent the restroom. This will eliminate the embarrassment of students overhearing her plea to her teacher.
- Show up and Be present. Her body will now go through new changes. Give her some space to process those changes but be there for her if she needs you.
Before tucking Niah in bed on the first night of her cycle I did one last follow up to see how she was feeling.
This is what she said:
“This is stressful and weird”
Her response haunted me all night. I didn’t want her experience to be as she described so I came up with the idea to purchase her some Menstrual Cycle Cheer Up Gifts. Kind of like a welcome to woman hood gift!
I mean, women get push gifts for having babies and that seems to cheer them up so I figured there is no harm in purchasing her some items that can help her sink into her new body with a positive outlook.
For example, head phones can help her listen to music that will soothe her when she’s not feeling well.
A journal can help her get out how she’s feeling.
Vegan bath bombs can help her relax in a nice bath to possibly ease some cramping.
A camera can help her document her different stages of truly being a young lady.
A book explaining the female body can help her get answers to the questions that maybe you can’t answer.
Lap Desk Surface. Pink Bike. Fujifilm Instant Camera. Dream Big Planner. Unicorn Purse. Happy Girls Pillow Cover. Vacation Duffle Bag. My Body, My Self Book For Girls. Just Between Us: Mother and Daughter Journal. Vegan Bath Bombs. Beats Solo3 Headphones. Stainless Steel Water Bottle. Rainbow Laces Roller Skates. Pink USB Fan.
Best wishes Mom on having to cross this bridge with your daughter and remember to assure her that it’s okay and nothing to be ashamed of. Also, she needs to know that it’s nothing she should be broadcasting to friends. Her body is her own personal temple and should be treated as such. As we give our daughters to the world we have to continuously pray for her, her body, her safety and her ability to make sound decisions as it pertains to her new phase of life.
This is such a sweet and important post! That last section about a cheer up gift honestly just made my day! Education is also important. I have friends who have had a lot of complications with their cycle and mothers who couldn’t relate and simply told them to get just get on with it. Being educated is important for ourselves and even more so if you have daughters. Great post!
Thank you! I absolutely agree that being educated is important. It’s the start of many changes that a young girls body will encounter so it’s crucial.
I love the idea of the “Emergency Kit”!! My mom made me one and it definitely came in handy when I was first starting my cycle.
I don’t have kids, but to me, it looks like you handled it beautifully 🙂
Thank you! The emergency kit is a must. Kids are so cruel these days so trying to save your daughter the embarrassment if you can should be at the top of the list.
I was also 10 when mine first darkened my doorway. Luckily, mom had already told me what it was and what pads were prior. (Even though she thought I wouldn’t need that info till much later). The one thing she DID NOT prepare me for was cramps. But I actually didn’t get those until like more than a year later. Your suggestion to let the teacher know is actually a really good one. I think that could save some accidents and allows girls to be responsible about checking and changing more frequently while in school.
Awesome post!
Thank you! I absolutely agree. Some girls have cramps that can be harsh so having meds and informing teachers are important for merging such a personal occurrence in such an impersonal place.
This is such a great read . I remember when I first started mine and my mom let me stay home from school and gave a book to read on how my body is changing .
Thank you! Lucky for me it fell over the weekend or I would have been a nervous wreck! I love that she nurtured you.